you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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