What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
