my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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