Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
