No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
