he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
