Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's blow job season.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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