So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
