I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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