we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
