CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
