these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
