I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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