Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos