Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.