so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.