you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
