Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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