Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
