On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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