playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need to stop coming to work sober
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
