how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
