If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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