So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
