He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
