i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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