Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
