Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
