Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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