I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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