I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
