i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
