More tranny stories later!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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