He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
