i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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