Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
