You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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