So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
