I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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