he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
