I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
