She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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