I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
