Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize