who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
