ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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