Your face is a jimmy john
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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