Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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