Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
