dude i'm inner monologue high
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
