We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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