i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
