some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
