Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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