Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
