I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
