It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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