p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You made out with two different species that night
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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