I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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