One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
