Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
