oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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