I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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