i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
