I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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