my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
