That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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