either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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