we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
